Q: What could it mean if you have only extreme sexual attractions to one gender but extreme emotional and (only slight) sexual attractions to the other?
A: This is a great question because it recognizes that we have different kinds of attractions.
– Sexual Attraction: Who we feel turned on by and want to have sexual activity with. This is a body response; it’s about seeking and giving sexual pleasure.
– Emotional Attraction (also called Intimacy): Who we feel closely connected to and who we want to know more fully and deeply. This isn’t about sexual activity necessarily; it’s about sharing trust, communication, and those intangible aspects of ourselves
– Romantic Attraction: Who we want to form a loving relationship with. Romantic attraction is more than just wanting to hook up with somebody. Some see it as a combination of sexual attraction and emotional attraction. It’s wanting to know someone deeply and share sexual pleasure with them.
In terms of your question, I’m afraid you’re the only person who can determine what your various attractions “mean” for you. It’s not uncommon that we feel strong sexual attraction to one gender and strong emotional attachment to the other gender. In fact, it’s not uncommon for people to have stronger emotional connections with the gender(s) they’re NOT sexually attracted to because all that confusing anxiety that can come with sexual activity is set aside and you can just focus on being the other aspects of each other. What makes a healthy romantic relationship successful is when two people can develop their emotional attractions for each other while also maintaining and acting on their sexual attractions for each other. This isn’t always easy, but most people in good romantic relationships will say it’s worth it!