Q: Why is sex so good?
A: There are 2 ways to answer this question. From the biological perspective, sex feels good for an important evolutionary reason. If a species, like ours, is going to reproduce sexually, then there’s an advantage if that action also feels good. As I’ve said before, if sex felt like getting your tooth drilled at the dentist, people wouldn’t have it very often and that could threaten the survival of our species. Our bodies have evolved so that our genital regions, as well as many, many other parts of the body are sensitive to sexual stimulation. A part of the body that brings sexual pleasure when stimulated is called an erogenous zone. This does not just mean our genitals. Each of us has many places on our body that bring sexual pleasure when stimulated. Knowing your own and your partner’s erogenous zones can lead to much more fulfilling sexual experiences. The mechanisms of sexual pleasure involve a combination of nerve impulses, blood flow, and muscle tension. To find out more about this, you might Google the phrase “human sexual response cycle” and look at the work of Master’s and Johnson, 2 famous sex researchers who studied the body changes that happen when people get sexually excited.
The second reason sex feels good is that humans have developed the emotional capacity to feel love, intimacy, and passion. These emotional states highlight and deepen sexual pleasure. While pleasure can exist without these emotions, it is much more significant when they are present.